omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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