no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
