'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
