Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
