ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
