I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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