Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
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while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
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Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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