I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize