Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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