is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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