please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
