try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
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