with your own penis?
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
