I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
