Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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