I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize