forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Apparently you make a good broom.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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