i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He? As in you personified your dick?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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