in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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