What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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