Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
