Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
