If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
