sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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