we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Drunk is not a location!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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