You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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