Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
