piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
