Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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