please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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