My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
