It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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