Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
