Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Less talking, more tequila
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
