Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
