Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
