just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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