some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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