Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize
