i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
