you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Randomize
