Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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