Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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