I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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