grandma shit on top of the toilet
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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