So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
