I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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