Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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