Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
