I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize