can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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