I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just gift wrapped bread.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
