this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize