If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
