he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
