he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
