I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
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Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
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I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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